yii shyuan

2011-03-13T19:06:00.002+08:00

教我怎麽面對？
:(

教我該怎麽做？

我要怎麽辦？有誰能夠告訴我？

教我如何相信另一個人？

learning to have a stronger heart

2011-03-11T03:05:00.003+08:00

how only can i fly away from reality?

feeling very disappointed on what other people think of me

rumours, again

now i only can smile and say everything is fine

i'm fine :)

ten years

2011-01-13T03:31:00.005+08:00

i wonder what i am in ten years time.

time flies, time to think about the future.

but then it is still so foggy, my dream remains,

but how to achieve it?

hope you still remember :)

rabbit year, i love rabbits ♥ ♥ ♥

you are worth to be treated wholeheartedly

2010-10-15T01:56:00.003+08:00

i know how it feels right now :)

feel it,
everyone is worth to be treated wholeheartedly

hold me tight

2010-09-16T02:40:00.003+08:00

hold me tight, never let me go

heartbreaking

2010-07-06T04:03:00.004+08:00

what i feel now is far beyond words.
its not what these 26 letters could evaporate.

just wish i could wake up one day,
knowing what i'm doing is not worthy :)

love in first sight

2010-07-02T01:34:00.002+08:00

=)

just give me a smile and everything will be okay, i wish

that girl

2010-05-26T01:29:00.002+08:00

i wonder until when the guy i caught my eye on only will lay his eye on me too?

2010-05-15T02:00:00.004+08:00

currently listening songs that reminds me of my previous relationship(s),
though i couldn't remember all of those small details,
but i do wonder, what made me wiling to sacrifice so much?
how could i stand these pain so much?

i couldnt even remember those heartbreaking feelings anymore.
but now doubt if i will ever fall in love again.
Philophobia(read)?
i guess its not, cause when im tired,
i still wish there's a shoulder which i could lean on,
someone hugging me tightly,
and let me cry all my fears out onto.

it's just that confusing.
it's like i couldn't find that feeling to be loved.

2010-05-03T10:35:00.001+08:00

i guess im not attending any class today.
feel sick, my tummy is turning upside down and made me feel like vomiting.

=(

累

2010-05-03T03:27:00.002+08:00

說真的，我好累

自己的程度嚴重落後，很辛苦追不上來。
但是總是逞強，把自己封閉，不讓別人幫忙，
不願別人知道我很弱。

我沒有辦法像別人一樣瀟灑，不理成績。
定下的目標，離我越來越遠，越來越容易放棄，
目標太遠，我已經漸漸看不清我的目標是什麽。
我漸漸不再記得我來這裡念書的目的。
亂糟糟的生活，完全沒有規律。
我不喜歡，但是我沒有辦法擺脫。

失眠，越來越常找上我。
原因我不知道。

明明我很累，但是躺在床上翻來覆去，
然後再繼續面對電腦，直到第二天天亮起來，
在爬到床上，翻來覆去，終于睡着。

最近在打羽毛球，學長說我算蠻強，對新手而言。
但是我不知道要怎麽進步，真希望有一天我可以打入校隊。

最近有在想，我想繼續練鋼琴。
但是好像不太容易喬出時間，去哪也是一個大問題。

亂糟糟的生活，要怎麽才可以收拾好，從新出發？

怎麽此時此刻，我卻好想哭。
好像家，好想爸爸媽媽，好想弟弟，好想朋友
好想他們總會關心我，
成績總是不好，看到爸爸媽媽好失望，我卻更加難過，
生為老大，卻沒辦法做好榜樣，沒辦法讓爸爸媽媽驕傲，我真的很難過
弟弟總是很出色，我卻比不上他，讓我有種莫名的自卑感，

爸爸媽媽總是想要我把亂糟糟的生活改好來，
我卻無能爲力，
現在的生活好像行屍走肉，爲了上課所以上課，
爲了考試所以考試，爲了功課所以功課，
我完全不知道我在過什麽生活。

大學的四大學分
學業，戀愛，打工，社團，
我好像都沒有修好。

媽媽，下個禮拜母親節
母親節快樂，我好想你

祝我可以讓你快快樂樂，不再擔心我

simple and nice

2010-04-19T23:23:00.002+08:00

i just want to love someone simply
no heart breaking, just love, trust, and more love
♡

Vanilla Twilight

2010-04-18T03:05:00.004+08:00

i'm so happy i got my aino
loco roco is superrrrr cute==
although quite frustrating couldnt get the berries and move to another level =(
have to see the map they post online and finish the levels
haha
cant get any inspiration to blog lately=/

this is my homework, engineering drawings,at first we were taught to draw on a piece of A1 paper(should be)then later we were told to put sketching on top then use pen to sketch.
abit tough, but definitely feel accomplished after finishing it =)
hehe

have to photoshop my picture due to the poor lighting in my room

i guess i gained alot alot alot weight.
my fat fat face proved it
its not chubby, its fat =(
arghh!!

♡

fat-fat face

發水麵包？

2010-04-03T02:05:00.002+08:00

久違的中文篇

看了最近的照片，也看了幾個月前的照片。。
我好像發水麵包==
真的好像

想想，好像吃了好多，卻在安慰自己吃了一點點
好像沒在動，卻覺得自己動了好多==

説好的減肥呢？
越來越胖，是真的。
怎麽別人都越來越正，我卻越來越丑==
怪食物太油，怪交不到男朋友，
怎麽不怪怪自己都沒有認真地在減肥。
系羽不去打球，跑去逛街，
QQ 真的要認真了

我真的要變正咩

加油吧

希望拉拉拉拉拉拉拉拉拉拉拉拉拉拉

fragile

2010-03-28T02:06:00.003+08:00

i thought i don't even give a damn to my previous relationships.
but why did i felt like crying reminiscing it?

betrayal, apathy, lies, complex tri-angled, etc.

sometimes, i just wish everything can be simple.

makes it so hard not to cry

2010-03-23T22:42:00.003+08:00

leona lewis- run

its a beautiful song.

i dont understand why both sex can't just be normal friends,
when they cant go further anymore?

why just cant pull down your face, and just be friends?

i feel hurt.

2010-03-22T23:14:00.002+08:00

2nd sem of year 1 is hectic.
apologies for not updating often.

programming class, applied physics & chemistry is killing me.

every week need to passup at least 1 chem lab report, 1 applied physics's assignment and programming assignment.

sometimes calculus quiz, physics assignment, physics test, chem test==

its now week5 only~

13 weeks more to go.

good luck ==

p/s. 我得衣櫥乾淨了，好桃花快快來~~XD

promise me

2010-03-16T01:29:00.002+08:00

promise me no matter what happen,
or if we couldn't step more closer,
we will always be good friends.

don't try to forget me, ignore me, or run away from me.
i can't afford to lose a good friend anymore.

=)

happy birthday

2010-03-14T02:41:00.002+08:00

happy birthday to you

=)

just wanted to say happy birthday to you.
but i know you'll never see this.

dai gor zai, dont wish to hear break-up reasons like
she no care i mah dont choi lor~

sam sam seng seng and fight for ur future.

happy white valentines.
but not to me =)

i have no idea what it means to me.

just a insomnia night.
maybe not, it's just i dont feel like sleeping, though i'm tired.

a hole inside my heart

2010-03-03T01:32:00.004+08:00

"有人要就好了~"

this is a sentence that i really dont like.
i wonder, who likes it?

will you stick to him/her even he/she is really not your cup of tea?
both of you dont have the same thoughts, both of you cant crap anything out?

there's a friend who likes this girl so much, but, unfortunately, she's not.
he was soooo emo and would do anything for her..
even asked me to delete my comment cause he scare that she will be mad.
i told him, there are still so much tree's out there, why so obsessed on one only?
he replied, i know, but i'm lazy to find.

find? well to me,
i believe in fate.
when the fate comes, youjust cant run away.
i think meet will be the more suitable word.
maybe it takes quite a long time to wait,
but hey, should enjoy the period waiting mah, right?
when it's yours, it's yours.

Everyone is imperfect, I am no exception. Learning to embrace others' imperfections than blaming them. Was so keen on performing, pleasing, and being perfect to increase my lovability. But as I grow up, I’m trying to let go of the idea that we must be perfect in order to be worthy of belonging and connection, because I find out that it’s all the little imperfections that makes us perfect.

i guess you had read this paragraph already,
nobody is perfect. and our looks are the special gifts from God.
everyone looks different, everyone have their own beauty.
and i believe God is fair,
he made us all imperfect,
we all have small imperfections,
because he wants us to find our partners that uses their long to replace our short, and use our long to replace their short.
and maybe to someone, these little imperfections are cute,
and when they get used to it, when these little imperfections left, they will feel so....weird?
remember,
we dont need to be perfect in order to be worthy of belonging and connection=)

p/s. going back this saturday already, this time, i felt i've got more not willing to leave than the other time. maybe it's the imba gang(?)
i know that you all gonna miss me, but i also do miss you all =/

p/p/s. i guess i never failed to fake a smile to someone that doesnt knows me,
but those who knows me, i guess u all knew it=/ thanks for being there, all the time, hearing me talking=)

p/p/p/s. always think before you speak. you dont know how hurtful is your words when you are mad. it really hurts someone that cares for you. dedicated to someone who doesnt read my blog.

thank you, i really appreciate everything you have done for me =) and i really know how much you pamper me, i really do. i know you dont like me to apologize, but i still have to say sorry =/
i know how u felt when i keep skipping the questions, i'm sorry =/ but, you know what i'm afraid of. err, maybe not. because the story i told you that day is just some of it. maybe you can ask kx abt rest of it, its a sad memory that i think i didnt want to say it out =( i guess i need some time to think deeply=)
remember to take care urself, dont always get soaked in the big rain. dont always so late oni eat dinner. dont need always apologize to me de la =) reli stupid 1...aiks

beautifully imperfect

2010-02-17T19:30:00.003+08:00

i think its enough of me stepping back, hoping he looking at me once again.
life's moving foward, so i should too.
its not i can or cant, but its must or must not.
we could be good friends, right?

i'm imperfect, you too.
thus its not humiliating to be imperfect.

Love, while always forgiving of imperfections and mistakes, can never cease to will their removal

do spent 3 minutes to watch this video=)

new year resolutions
i know i'm slow, but its just listing out 'some' of them here

- read more english books(fiction/novel etc) and improve my english
- start saving money and cut off useless expenses =)

最幸福的事 =)

2010-02-16T01:57:00.004+08:00

那一陣子有你　美得不像現實
多高興每一幕都微笑著靜止

hehe
happy CNY!! =)

edited
photo deleted

p/s. anyone can tell me whats happening on msn? quite a amount of strangers adding me up, and their email address is almost d same, i once allowed one, thought if i dont know him/her then i can delete + block. but after i accept, i found out its p/m was like " wanna nude webcam with me?". was so scared it was a virus. luckily it didnt harm my msn.

so if you wanna add my msn, please leave me a e-mail. thanks =)

obsessed

2010-02-12T22:17:00.002+08:00

no idea what makes me so obsessed with you =)

i know it hurts him when i talk about you infront him,
but i just cant control. i'm sorry =/

i can barely breathe and my heart beating extremely fast when you talk to me
whee~~~

but, things just dont go the way i wanted.
i know, and know i cant do anything too.
so just let it be=)

I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me

It happens to be true
I only want to be with you

It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this

It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance

Now listen honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we've met you've had a hold on me

No matter what you do
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance
Now listen honey, I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care

'Cause you started something can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me

No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you

for you

2010-02-10T21:56:00.004+08:00

stfu and fuck off.
thank yeww very the muchie

yes you caught my attention again,
but this time,
its because you're annoying. and muka tebal
in short, buay pai seh.

wonder what will i do after you crossed my base line?
just go ahead.
im not a barbie doll,
just i dont want to do anything,
stay quiet and follow your instructions.
its because i dont want to lost my temper,
yet trying to mantain my EQ level.
and
不想跟你一般見識

第一次被騙是無知，第二次被騙是愚蠢=)

I aint gonna stop you if you wanna crowd my neck

2010-02-06T17:23:00.006+08:00

heylo =)
here i am again

i find that this guy is so cuuuuuute =)
was first amazed by their song, super white,
then when i see the mv of another song, seafood XD

he is suuuper cute!
not only that, they are very talented too

cant resist right?

something else to share=)

hehe what is in your mind when you see my ring?
no lah, not from someone.
its just a 'baby finger ring' (尾戒)
believed to protect me from something bad(防小人),
the ring will lost after it protected me.
bought it at sg wang. not expensive=)

other than that, i bought 2 dresses the same day
one purple dress and another floral dress=)

i like floral alot, but in topshop/zara/cotton on etc.
i couldnt find the type of floral prints i like.
this one is nice, just its abit tight at my chest
but i guess it should be alright

i guess i'll match it with a golden necklace. but unfortunately,
i still cant find any of my choice.
i thought i could find some nice one in sg wang, but i couldnt see any nice golden necklace.

then shoes.
i think i cant buy any heels already, since i usually walk to my department building,
and heels are not really suitable for walking on the road.

and,

i guess i forgot how to walk with heels. (thats the main point)
i wanted to wear the pair of heels that i didnt bring to taiwan,
but then, i couldnt really walk nicely. haha

actually i saw a pair of heels at vincci. bright red (super nice)
but it is super high!!
omg i dont think i can even walk in it.

so another choice i thought was mary jane heels.
i find it so cute also, maybe i can choose one not so high right?

or the last choice.
ballerina flats. not really wants to get a pair of them here,
taiwan have loads, and really cheap.
the shoes i bought in taiwan doesnt bites=)
ok la, except the roman wedges. it hurts a little but seriously better than those i bought in malaysia.
i remember once the blister BLEED. i was wearing heels from some boutique and the price is almost like in vincci/nose.

so...good luck hunting for my CNY costume =D

last but not least, my hugeass picture.
hehe actually already uploaded in facebook.

I was chasing, and nothing was all I found

2010-01-29T23:47:00.002+08:00

hi long time no see =)

actually i've got nth to blog...==

went for 4 movie's edi since i've been back malaysia...
the spy next door, legion, tiger woohoo, n tooth fairy X)
enjoy using student card to get student price,
its just only rm6/7, cheap!
but i still didnt watch avatar yet=(

i remember i watch legion with my hand over my eyes== haha abit scary for me who doesnt watch scary movies XD

went chong hwa today with jem and ate 'chicken hor fun with asam laska soup'
so niceeeee =D

this is a website i like very much recently,
www.wo-men.com.tw
there are alot of nice articles. really realistic.

sometimes i really wonder do boys likes a girl because she is cute, she is pretty, she is hot, or she is virgin? no offense, but really quite a number of guys i've met is like this. maybe i dont know them enough well, but the first impression they give me is like this.
i know what you're thinking
not like you dont like good looking guys. right?
well, the look is also a factor, but i wont put it in the first place though.
or if she's a virgin, then you'll be her first man? she's not a virgin, then you can make out after you two got together?
actually, i hate being asked if i'm a virgin. it's not disgracing if i'm a virgin, and it doesnt mean i will easily make out with you if im not a virgin.
hmm, i mean. if you really love someone, would it matters if she is a virgin? you love her more because she is? or you dont love her if she's not one?

in my view, if you love her, then actually nothing matters much(except like smoking, or heavy drinker etc) everyone have mistakes and flaws, what you should do is to accept her flaws, and love who she is, but not make her to change into who you love, what you like.

so, dont ask. they will tell you when its the right timing =)

to those who dont have a gf/bf:

You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

love is all about fate. it will come when its the right timing, and go when its time to leave. appreciate when you have one, dont complain if you dont have one =)

happy vatentines people =) about 2 week more to go

happy CNY too =)

the rose

2010-01-08T01:31:00.004+08:00

"As a rose can live without the rain,
so a heart can love without the risk of pain"

i dont want to love. im afraid of pain.

was feeling down these days, felt so lost so unsecure about my future and what i want.
i guess im feeling empty inside.
i dont like to be a loner, but im like isolating myself from peoples.
i keep quiet, i dont speak. even on msn.
i'm feeling weird. some change in me.
i wonder, which is the real me?
pretending cheerful? faking smiles?
or im so emotional that i could change from cheerful to quiet in just a moment?

the rose - jolin tsai

Lies the seed
that with the sun's love in the spring
becomes the rose
Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give

And the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love
is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
for beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
that with the sun's love in the spring
becomes the rose

Life is a gift and you gotta learn to live it
if you believe in love
you gotta learn to give it
Tryin' to find someone who's kind is hard to do
You want the love but you really don't know what to do
You're just afraid of someone breaking your heart
You never learned to live you gave up from the start
You felt the pain but it made you strong
So remember no matter what you will go on

wanting someone to enderstand me so badly, but the someone came, i only realized i couldnt open my heart.

i rather read the first sentence as

As a rose cant live without the rain,
so a heart cant love without the risk of pain

maybe. in my heart, the meaning of love exists like this =)

twenty ten =)

2010-01-03T21:33:00.002+08:00

i only realize that i didnt update for such a long time
hmm, well nothing really worth to blog actually =)

happy new year! =)
may all of your wishes come true

i want a exciting and fabulous life
yeahhhhh

gonna be home soon
miss you guys

i want to:-
- eat chicken rice with the chicken rice chili
-meet all my friends
-watch movies!!!!!
-not to gain weight (coz sure eat alot 1 xD)

etc etc etc

p/s. 6s4 gathering pls tell me time lar==
and any idea where to go?

p/p/s. and my header is OMFG ugly, wanna change again

good luck to my finals toooooo =)

merry christmas!

2009-12-25T15:13:00.002+08:00

hi guys! merry christmas
its a lonely christmas here,
hmm, just like a normal day.
nothing much special happened, therefore nothing much to blog. =)

going home soon! woohoo

to someone,
i dont know what are you thinking,
i gave you my heart, you broke it into pieces.
then i love you with all the little pieces,
then you still dont appreciate.
so now you think im ok? hello, im not your doll.
we girls are just normal peoples. we expect our partners to be loyal to us.
i dont understand you. i guess your gf and ex-gf too.
please appreciate anyone beside you. they love you

if its me, sorry no,
no i dont trust you. everytime you do the same things, again and again.
sweet talk doesnt works. get a life.

i'm sorry

2009-12-11T18:28:00.002+08:00

i'm so sorry to those who always wanted to talk to me=/
but i felt so hard to find a topic though i wanted to start a conversation..
maybe you think i dont miss you, but i do.
its the same old problem, i dont know how to express, i dont know how to communicate.

im sorry =(

i dont know what to blog,

i hurt my toe. my nail came off. yeah it hurts even i walk.
can you imagine? im sorry, dont worry about me. it'll be fine

thanks for all the birthday wishes, expecially the video.
appreciate them much=) im so touched
cried when watching it. i only knew i missed home so much.

i have to be more matured as i grow up

2009-12-04T12:28:00.003+08:00

3days
可是我並不期待~

他們說19嵗要低調，
剛好=)

我不是一定要你回來只是他有一個人看海
疲憊的身影不是我不是你想看見的我

感覺最近壓力有點大
體重下滑中，雖然有時候會暴飲暴食

最近好像要病了
頭痛感冒噁心想吐胃痛

gosh

2009-12-02T00:32:00.004+08:00

well, its not the actual update i wanted. what i've wanted was to share what i've done last two weekend, the happy weekends. but something troublesome stroke me and i've lost my appetite to finish up my assignments, so im stuck here writing my blog.

know what i've learnt from gossip girls? its communicate. i think it plays a important role in making the western kids more matured, and more independent. they will talk whenever they've got problems and troubles between them.

i guess we just aren't that mature enough, i just went through something, it hurt me really badly.
it was this guy, which we are really good friends, uhm, before he dated this girl.
and last weekend, we went for an outing, and they took some quite couple-alike pictures, in our group pictures in my camera. well, people that knows me know that i'll upload them onto facebook, then tag the pictures.

so the incident started like this. well, the girl didnt want me to tag her in their pictures, so after she tell me, she untaged the pictures she didnt want people to see, then later they had a call and she asked the guy if he wants his pics to be untaged too. maybe he's too aggressive, or maybe he wanted to show his "heroism" to her, he called me up, and before i knew whats happening, he scolded me and hanged the phone. after a few seconds, my phone rang again, this time, i kinda knew whats happening, i picked up the phone, and i started arguing with him. i'm sorry i did lost my temper and raised my voice, and lost my EQ. but in that second, what i'm thinking was, i have to fight for my right. whats wrong if i uploaded the pictures in my camera? i have no wrong right? so after that, he hang up again, madly, this time, i was mad too.

i was doing my assignments that time, after i picked up his phone, i'm so mad that i couldt hold my pencil right, and couldnt even draw a fine line. i tried to calm myself down and finish my assignment. then i tried to talk to the girl. she said it may be some misunderstanding between us. yeah, so, apologized to her, than she tries to contact him and sort out the things.

after that, i sent him a message, and apologized too, about my temper and i tagged them in the pictures(?). uhm, he just did replied me, seems like very insincerely, and made me really feel like i've done all wrong. i dont know if its his f-ing ego or his self-esteem or something else, but i think he still owe me an apology right?

oh, whatever, case closed.

friends or not friends anymore, let fate decides.

ok, i've cooled down after i spit it all out right here, but i still think he owes me an apology.

oh okay, he apologized. im alright

2009-12-01T01:53:00.002+08:00

i promise i'll update after this week~
assignments and exams made me couldnt breathe=/ yikes!!

god bless BIME NCHU=/
another h1n1..oh gosh
its terrible!!
yikessssssss

get well soon, those who are sick =(

lonely

2009-11-23T23:37:00.002+08:00

finally finished gossip girls season one,
gotta catch up =)
its really nice

click to read =)

wont walk away, but she wont look back

2009-11-23T12:11:00.002+08:00

lady gaga! she is cooooooooooooooooooool !!

sorry for being MIA, not very busy actually, but i've got nothing to update xD

just came back from my course's camp, its really fun =D
games, campfire, performances, RPG, barbeque
and i like my leader =) they are so nice xD
nobody, sorry sorry is really so hot here, so much people usng it!!

and class monitor he performed how he became a woman in the room,
47 guys watching!! a small room !!
everybody's laughing after they heard abt it, he really bring alot laughter for us =)

haven got the pics now, i'll update after i get the pics kay?

weather here is very very very cold, expecially when the wind blows.
really abit cannot tahan..

got to go, class on 1pm,
more and more assignments coming...aiksss
bye

in your arms, there's where i belong ♥

2009-11-11T22:52:00.004+08:00

mid-term's gonna end this friday(i guess) :D
but exam's & quizzes will still go on =/
starting to buy winter clothes,
i love shopping =) woohoooo

this is me, in mcD for lunch, before we go for group study

weather is still hot, coz typhoon flew away..
i like windyyyyyy weather lar..

jem jem say i should try boots==
i dont know, but i wanna try legging first,
dont know how it will be, i have fat thighs =(

the fats are starting to grow on my face! ugh

because of these all pass (pronounced as: o pa) sweets/cakes/donuts
i think i've gained weight, yikes
gotta diet..exercise perhaps?

haha, so i joined my course's basketball team =)
but, there's competition this sat==
seriously, i dont know how to play..

cultural day pics

this is what i've made, 2 night burning mid-night oil,
100% handmade=)

group pic, dancers & fashionshow models

female dancers

me with makeup on

for more pics, click here

this song is so sweet! hope someone could sing for me :D
dreaming ==
dreams are hard to follow, but dont let anyone tear them away =)

unbreakable - westlife

Took my hands, touched my heart
Held me close, you were always there
By my side, night and day
Through it all, baby come what may
Swept away on a wave of emotion
Oh we’re caught in the eye of the storm
And whenever you smile I can hardly believe that you’re mine
Believe that you’re mine

This love is unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
And each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
A feeling my heart just can’t deny
Each time I look in your eyes, oh baby
I know why
This love is unbreakable

Share the laughter, share the tears
We both know we’ll go on from here
Cos together, we are strong
In my arms, that’s where you belong
I’ve been touched by the hands of an angel
I’ve been blessed by the power of love
And whenever you smile, I can hardly believe that you’re mine

This love is unbreakable
Through fire and flame
When all this is over
Our love still remains

it's a suitable season for love

2009-11-03T11:50:00.002+08:00

yes? no?
haha

yes cause more and more couples coming out,
no cause mid term is next week!!

cultural week finally ended, exhausted,
went back hostel about 12midnight almost everyday,
so now i've to change back my normal lifestyle, study==

weather is super super nice =D
i love the windy weather,
although sand kept flew into my eye==
only one word could describe wearing short pants in the wind, shuang =D

starting to feel gross on the food here, too oily, really disgusting=/
and i dont drink milk tea, the 'cream' make me feel its very very very disgusting,
totally no appetite =( i really dont know what to eat already...

there's something we dont talk about,
just let us maintain this distance? which im not satisfied of,
but both of us do not dare to take another step foward=/

Baby don't look at me like that, I don't belong to you

2009-10-28T00:47:00.002+08:00

你可知道
要女人卸妝，面對一個愛的人
是需要很大的勇氣。

你可知道
當女人，讓男人脫去自己的衣服
一絲不掛的在他面前，是需要多少的愛

你可知道
當你抱著她
說一句，我愛妳
是多麼讓她感動的一件事

你可知道
女人付出了一切
男人因為得到，而不再去用心時
女人的心會撕裂成一片一片

你可知道
當女人，頂著哭花的臉走在街上
不管是不是，有人在看她時，她的心已經快要死了

你可知道
當你離開她
不再接她電話
但要，每次她按你號碼時，是有著極大的期待與恐懼

你可知道
女人的愛
男人的愛
最大的不同在於
男人忘不了初戀
但是，女人把每一次的愛情
當做是初戀，也是這輩子，最後一個來愛

女人知道，太多不該知道的事情
男人不知道，太多該知道的事情

你說呢 ?

------------------------------------------------------------
( 請耐心看完，謝 )

她會很矜持
她會很驕傲
她會很冷淡
她總是，嘴裡說著你走開
心裡，卻一直叫你留下。

請你張開你的耳朵
也請你打開你的心
去聽她心裡，真正的呼喚
而不是，她嘴裡的口是心非

她會看著你的背影
然後她跟著你轉身
當側身而過的時候
你看不見她的淚
汸沱在臉上心理。

如果你喜歡她
請你多陪陪她。

如果你喜歡她
請你多寵她。

如果你喜歡她
請你多讓她。

如果你喜歡她
請你，去聽聽她內心的聲音。

在愛情裡
總是彼此傷害
彷彿這樣才能證明，自己愛的激烈，愛到轟轟烈烈

可是，愛情裡，沒有誰對誰錯
愛情裡更加沒有，你比我多我比你少

你愛她，她愛你
如此就已經足夠

不要試圖讓彼此傷害
讓彼此更加脆弱悲傷。

你們彼此相愛
你們需要的是，幸福是甜蜜是快樂，不是傷害

不要用沉默宣戰
不要互相不讓
更不要，什麼話都不講，就靜靜冷漠離去

要知道
你離去的時候
你的眼睛起了霧
她的眼角泛著淚光

越是安靜，戰火就越傳
這是冷戰，也是彼此的傷害?

無論是怎麼的復合
那些傷口曾經存在，抹不去。

請給她一個擁抱
用你的擁抱，去化解，她心裡的悲傷，與眼角的淚水

她喜歡你
她絕對不會，拒絕你的擁抱
她只會，怕你的轉身無聲安靜

請記住
相愛的人，不要輕易宣戰
因為冷戰，帶來的傷害，超出你的預計。

也請記住
只要你喜歡她
沒什麼，是你接受不了的
只要你喜歡她
就喜歡她的一切一切。

是不是
曾經你的溫柔，最後只剩沉默
那天你說分手，我才恍然明白
愛原來只是你的救生衣。

你在寂寞的時候才想到我，
我卻當做，你是我的氧氣
依賴你給的陽光空氣
很久以後終於學會放手

氣你傷過的我，也許不再難過
那雙褪色的鞋，帶你走了多遠
口袋的昨天手機裡的簡訊
像灰幕的字霧，消失在我眼前

我選擇接受，這樣的結局
捨得放開，瞬間海闊天空
很久以後，與你擦身而過
我還能夠微笑，和你揮手

我愛你，我是否改變很多?

-------------------------------------

當我用心愛著你的時候
你有沒有，真心想著我的感受?

當我哭泣的時候
你願不願意，讓我靠著你的肩膀哭泣?

我就像個小孩子一樣
依然相信，童話裡的故事

王子與公主，到現在依然的相愛
希望就能像......我和你一樣

多麼想，好好愛一個人
請你給我愛，好不好？

---------------------------------------------------------------

lady gaga-no way

I saw a shadow
And I knew that it wasn't mine
You and her I know that you were intertwined
Even though her clothes were on and everything
Your eyes were somewhere else and you were both to blame

Don't say a word, I'm sure that it won't be enough
To erase what I know
Just happens not what dreams are made of
This is my house and I won't allow the disrespect
Baby don't look at me like that, I don't belong to you

'Cause baby now that you're caught what am I supposed to say
We went so wrong, that what you did
But I still feel this way
I can't believe it or forget it, what I saw today
And if you're wonderin' if I'm staying

The answer is no way
No way-ay-ay-ay
No way-ay-ay-ay
No way-ay-ay-ay-ee-ay-ee-ay-ee-ay

And then I saw something I know did not belong to me
But then I thought there was no way you would do that to me
And then last week when you went outside to use your phone
I felt a chill but told myself that it was from the cold

And I just woke up but I wish that it was a nightmare
'Cause when I have those it isn't real like this one is
This is my heart and I won't allow the disrespect
Baby don't look at me like that, I don't belong to you

'Cause baby now that you're caught what am I supposed to say
We went so wrong, that what you did
But I still feel this way
I can't believe it or forget it, what I saw today
And if you're wonderin' if I'm staying

The answer is no way
No way-ay-ay-ay
No way-ay-ay-ay
No way-ay-ay-ay-ee-ay-ee-ay-ee-ay

There are more things I know
You can take the dinner leftover from last night
I made you your favorite goodbye

'Cause baby now that you're caught what am I supposed to say
We went so wrong, that what you did
But I still feel this way
I can't believe it or forget it, what I saw today
And if you're wonderin' if I'm staying

The answer is no way
No way-ay-ay-ay
No way-ay-ay-ay
No way-ay-ay-ay-ee-ay-ee-ay-ee-ay

Ehh-ehh-ohh-noo way
No way

-----------------------------------------------------------

你還在等什麽？=(

I thought that from this heartache I could escape

2009-10-23T16:36:00.003+08:00

maybe things would go wrong,
maybe there are things unpredictable,
maybe there'll be heartbreaking moments,
maybe there's gloomy days,
but no matter what, i'll smile.
i dont wanna let those bad moments spoil my day.

when somebody tries to spoil your day, prove that you're not affected by her =)
who do you think you are?

weather's getting colder, i think i need to get more clothes,
but i just dont have the time to go shopping.
im the mean time, more and more people's getting sick.
please take care of yourselves~
dont let people who cares you worry, especially now we're far apart from them..

wonder if the leaves will turn red, it should be very beautiful =)

seems like basketball match is coming.
i wanna go watch, dont know who can accompany me?

♥ shyuan

懂得追求的人，會比只懂得接受來得幸福。
接受，可能只是在一堆之中選擇一個比較適合自己的，
而追求是追求自己喜歡的。

我愛上的是？
他笑起来的迷幻？
他比我还逞强？
他瞳孔里的太阳？
我逃不掉的逃亡？

身体一半灵魂一半，
永远找不到另外一半~

我爱上的是他笑起来的迷幻

2009-10-19T20:35:00.003+08:00

射手寶寶

看過很多次了，但有些話仍然覺得很正確

有時候很多人覺得很好的一個工作或一個伴侶，

他們很輕易的就會放棄掉，可能只是因為一個毫不起眼的小原因。

對於愛情確實有理想化的傾向，和他們談戀愛，是一件高難度的事情。

他們非常討厭俗氣的人，所以你不能很物質或喜歡談錢，

但是他們又很現實，所以你不能一文不名，各方面也必須有一定的實力。

一般射手的感情模式是，第一階段，你們還不熟悉，他（她）愛上了你，非常熱情。

第二階段，你們逐漸熟悉，而他（她）開始龜毛，整天挑剔你的毛病，無論是背地裡還是當面。

如果你有幸通過他（她）的挑剔過程，基本挑剔出的毛病為零或者你把缺點保密的非常好；

那麼進入第三階段，他們就又是忠誠和熱情的愛人了。但是基本能通過第二階段的人非常少

人們總覺得射手座的世界很快樂，可是呢？射手座難過時沒有人知道，他不想讓別人可憐自己，

射手座不堅強，可是很善良。在你難過時哄你開心，讓你有依靠，

分手後，他會哭著去想屬於你們倆幸福的回憶，也不想愛的人因為同情而勉強和他一起。

他比誰都希望自己愛的人快樂幸福，卻常常忽略了自己，全身都是傷也笑著告訴你，

我很好不用擔心。在所有人看到他的笑容以為他沒事，卻不知道失戀對射手座有多大傷害，

華麗的外表下有一顆脆弱的需要別人瞭解和安慰的心。

我不知道要些什麽了拉~
最近都好忙，都不知道什麽時間可以去玩=/
忙僑生周，過後再忙期中考。
很好
我真的很忙，可憐

我想拜托某些人，沒有了就是沒有了。
請不要再糾纏不清。
我沒時間和興趣陪你玩~
不想和你一般見識。
請你就對你的女朋友好而已，你以爲你是誰？
養不起自己，還妄想養老婆嗎？
無聊

就像facebook 的 status 一樣，
if you think messing up my life and emotion again is fun, just go ahead. i'll prove that you're wrong=) you're just a lifeless loser, fooling every girl's love. dont you feel disgrace? mmg buay paiseh==

你覺得常常出現在這裡很開心嗎？
還在我心中佔有一席之地？
哈哈
我只會覺得你很幼稚。
過去了，就是過去了。沒辦法再回頭=)
當初，是誰放棄的？

你不在當我最需要愛

2009-10-16T01:23:00.002+08:00

feels like forever reading finish the physics text book =/

taufu fa plan canceled,
everyone's exhausted and it's late already.
curfew's near.
i wanna taufu fa =(

got my curry rice supper from 7-11,
not very tasty but at least its something which can fill my tummy.
very very hungry.

a new product called ferrero rondnoir =)
its abit too sweet but its definitely better than ferrero rochere.
i hate ferrero rochere much==
at least rondnoir is my favorite dark chocolate (41% only, sad)

feeling down, i dont know why.
feels like calling someone to talk but i dont know who i can call.
i need someone like him which hears me talk all my moodiness =/
wtf why im missing him again?

maybe its easy to find someone to talk to,
just i couldnt step that step out,
afraid falling again. no, i want to be single=/

the awkward feel between me and that guy made me felt sorry for what i've did,
but hell what did i do wrong? no i didnt do anything wrong.
or maybe its only i didnt realized
but that awkward feel really exists.

why cant both gender just be normal friends?

hungray~~

2009-10-15T03:02:00.002+08:00

hmmm...starting to miss those fattening food..
im damn hungry now, nth to eat in the middle of the night =/

secret recipe, famous amos, starbucks, desserts, yummm~
argh, have to cut junk foods already, overweight too much..yikes!
but what to do? its my favourite

my thigh now is full of mosquito bites, already 1 week or 2, didnt recover yet..
haiz, sad-nya..

gotta sleep now, =D

yikes! suddenly thought of tomorrow's introduction in english. omg. i hate introduction!

its all like,
hi, im xxx, i like xxx, hope to meet alot of friends here. ==
boring!

miao~ haiz =/

i still like myself free without relationships =)
im realllllllyy freee!! hehe

no im not free now,
exams and dance practise..ouch.. imma panda tomorrow! whatever

sot jor lor? haha

short update!

2009-10-13T01:12:00.002+08:00

here for a short update!
i'm soooooo busy this few days~
sorry for not replying msn=/

exam's piling up, homework's too.
now have to work for international cultural week of my school's 90th anniversary.
lolz, have to dance malay dance, modern zapin.
long time didnt dance d, dont know if i can dance somemore...

and have to help to do the poster for the cultural day too..

have to start studying now.. ciao!
no, its really midnight now..haha

~♥ shyuan

懦弱

2009-10-09T22:55:00.004+08:00

逃避逃避，躲避躲避

除了這個我還會什麽？

我說了我不想！不要再來煩我了好不好？！
一個告一段落，現在又來另一個。很好！
我並沒有你們想象中的那麽好，那麽完美。縂覺得你們會後悔~
還是我必須說，那個打擊真的太大。好久了，傷痕還是無法平復。。好怕，好怕~

女生的身體結構很特別，我終于明白
我一直以爲我是男的
結果事實證明我是軟弱的女人！
黑青真的很痛！

好聽！

拼命的上網悶壞的胸口讓我想大聲的吶喊
我努力不放你冷淡你讓分手就這樣
我連做夢也感覺受傷一年過了還是一天計算著慌張
計程車上的音響我們最愛的情歌
這一刻卻重重擊破思念的心臟

夜深了我怎麼辦寂寞了誰在身旁
心情變得好複雜想她念她恨她
一個人你害怕嗎細數過滿天星光
說好永遠不分開多假多假多假
讓記憶長出翅膀飛翔心放空了寂寞好了

堅強外表下我脆弱情人節開始失常
別人慶祝我卻很失落秋天過了冬天漫長…
歡愉而感傷我們天真的勇敢我們追求的夢想
捨不得也只能收藏旅行的時光

夜深了我怎麼辦寂寞了誰在身旁
心情變得好複雜想她念她恨她
一個人你害怕嗎細數過滿天星光
說好永遠不分開多假多假多假
讓記憶長出翅膀飛翔心放空了寂寞好了

寂寞感冒全都可以好的
愛多甜傷多痛都釋放

夜深了我怎麼辦寂寞了誰在身旁
心情變得好複雜想她念她恨她
一個人你害怕嗎細數過滿天星光
說好永遠不分開多假多假多假
讓記憶長出翅膀飛翔沒有了心放空了寂寞好了

my first workshop class

2009-10-01T12:26:00.006+08:00

went for my 1st workshop class this thursday.
3 tiring periods, only 1 mark.
then, we're divided into 3 groups: cutting, fittering, welding

unfortunately, i was assigned to the fittering group, which is the most difficult ones.
why? can you understand this?

we have to cut, and grind.
remember kemahiran hidup class in junior class?

yeah, something like dong the woodwork.

but

this time,
we're not doing wood,

but

metal!

wtf right?

luckily there's seniors which helped me =D
hohoho

although there's seniors, my finger hurt's too...
had blisters on my finger =/ ouch~

and another thing special(or weird i should call it) about my school is,
you can see pairs taking wedding photo inside my school.
by the lake, and in the black forest..==

=D

2009-09-28T17:35:00.002+08:00

piles of homework coming already, yikes =/
calculus and physics today..
i finally know why msia's education fail.. we dont do experiment thr~
now we need to do experiment by ourselves, i dont know anything !! omg...

i did exercises this weekend, bravo !! =D
hahaha
played badminton, and eat less...
hmm, i wonder if i can lose weight =p

then we cycle to the nearest shopping mall..not very far, but not very near also...==

i'm still not attending my class's activity, i just dont have the motivation to join them,
maybe i'll join slowly... xue jie asked me to go basketball, but i didnt go again..aiks..

and i forgot to say, i choosed basketball as my sports..hmm,
we've got 4 malaysians thr..=D
although i dunno how play, but at least can sweat, den it's fine =)

my chinese teacher is a weirdo..==
he treat us like primary school student...omg..==

gotta start to be hardworking, i promised myself to get into the top students in my class..=/
but calculus, physics....haiz...

wanna sleep 1st..hahaha
after wake up oni go for dinner..

bye =)

loves, shyuan♥

i've to wipe my tears and pretend like nothing happened

2009-09-27T02:58:00.002+08:00

i wanna watch g-force!

didnt step into cinema for such a long time,
i wanna watch movie, i wanna go out play.

the more i stay here, the more i feel the life here is dull and boring.
i miss shopping malls, i miss starbucks, i miss the way i doll-up myself, ~~i miss the day you were by my side~~
how a city girl gonna live a country life?

i thought i've put down everything about you when i flew here,
i thought i'll never miss you again, since there's no more chances we'll meet.
i thought i'll be fine without you, i thought i'm really heartless,
i thought i really could be cold-blooded, to forget when i want to forget.

but why in the middle of the night, tears flowing when i'm typing this?
i'm missing you, deeply, i guess.
though i agree there's not much between us.

maybe i'm searching for your shadow, but sorry he isnt.

i should go now,
and pretend like nothing happened,
smile n laugh like the way i always do =)

time will heal, i hope

2009-09-26T01:54:00.002+08:00

hope you can really understand =)
i dont wanna hurt anyone, including me again.

scar needs time to heal, and i need time to learn to believe in love.

looking at the clouds, it is so pretty.
can i live without any problems fascinating me?

如果你愛著我而我也愛著你
結果還是有段跨不過的距離
這時離開還依然美麗
如果說我愛著你而你卻比較愛自己
我想那就不是我的問題
那不過是現代人的愛情

hmm....
happy birthday dear lutlut =)
love you forever...

i fuckin' love my face. so what?

2009-09-21T22:58:00.003+08:00

haha....finally got mood to take pictures edi, without make up's, hmmm....still look chammm..

btw, taiwan alot 夾娃娃機, so that bear is my brother kiap for me d =) although is i play laaa =)

haiz, i really felt i start to miss them edi, its so nice to be with the 2 small boy..

my mood is coming back edi =) that person, hmm...i dont wanna bird her =D muahahahaha

hmm, i also can chuan ppl d...i know how beh ppl de ah...huhuhuhu

wed's exam edi, yikes!! 物理單字~!!! omg!!

feeling down~

2009-09-21T12:30:00.002+08:00

來到這裡，第一次又想哭的感覺。。
覺得好無辜，爲什麽？？！

我在這裡很正常啊，沒有化妝，沒有做怪怪的事，什麽都沒有。。
爲什麽一樣的問題會出現在我身上？

=(

無辜無辜無辜無辜無辜~

感覺好怪，我好自閉。
只有大馬的在一起才會快樂，
大馬僑聯大炮社 =D
哈哈

darling, i feel wonderful tonight =)

2009-09-18T00:33:00.004+08:00

had you ever feel pain when you're under the sun?

yes, i felt it here is taiwan!

the sun is really burning here, made me feel like i'm a roasted pig==

thisngs are going well here right now =)
classes everyday, playing too everyday =D

walked alot today, went supermarket twice too =)
walked to the left of my hostel to have dinner, then we walk to the right of the hostel to the supermarket. so i'm actually walking for the whole night!

realy tired~

i think i'll join dance club again! =) didnt move for a long time edi..
but at the same time, course basketball n badminton also are asking me to join. hmm
looks nice, but dont know which to join.

lots of thins happened actually, but i just cant remember==
and also lazy to write =D
i think i gotta sleep lur,

oh ya, remember come ask me webcam =D hehe
look, told you pimple's eveywhere =/

more and more activities coming edi =) hehe
i'm looking forward to it already =) hehehhee

going sing k this saturday~after mooncake festival celebration =D

=)

2009-09-15T10:55:00.002+08:00

the weather here is HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!

have to walk/cycle to uni everyday=/
but i like the life =) the uni is nice, its beautiful

i got my lappie edi =) yay
its white in colour

i think i gonna get very very fat soon, food here quite oily,
and alot is very tasty, cant stop eating xD

haha

everyday got class, 2 days start class as early as 8am,
others either 9am, 10am or 11am ==
haiz, can how?

dont know what to update edi=/
will get used to my lappie and get my LAN then i only upload pictures=)

i'll try to use english to write my blog, if not my english will become worse =(
less chance to speak englishhere...hmm =/

greetings from taiwan! =)

2009-09-10T09:15:00.001+08:00

halo halo halo~
hahaha

im in cc !

im very fine here,
food's nice =D

i didnt c dao leng zai ah!!

never see any in sch lor~

my sch very big lor~
like me tis 'lu chi' will get lost d lor~ hahahah

i forgot to bring my cable here,
haiz,
no pictures yet =/

i'll try to get my laptop ASAP~~ =(

argh..no msn ah,
need sendiri dl lor...haiz....aiks

20 more min to choose my class,
haiz,
very scare cannot choose dao i like d lor...how how??

haiz...gtg, shoort update here =D

byeeee~

=)

2009-09-03T01:14:00.005+08:00

dont, dont go away~
baby dont you know i miss you so?

im leaving in 12 hours time.
gotta update 1st before i'm leaving msia =)

1st,
6s4 gathering at kepong steamboat & BBQ

i really love 6s4!!
that day really make me feel warm,
feel like the days we make fun of each other in class,
making nonsence,
and my dear jem is still obsessed by masks and facial product,
she's so cute=D
and my lut talking short forms, but alot people dont know what is it..
LDR is not LDP==

i really love the mug! it's in my luggage now!!

it's barbie 'wind'

the champagne

thx=) *ignore my face pls, its ugly

weiquan, lut, jem, sto
mayb he can try to join our ji mui liao :D

he is my crab~ hahahahaha
my prince isnt here today! he ffk!!
*wui i really dont feel very happy la== normal oni~*
crab, u get hurt once doesnt mean you'll have that wound forever.
although it's a scar, and stay forever,
but one day, when you're with the right girl, you'll find that scar isnt aching anymore,
not even itchy, you;ll find its just a scar, mayb you'll only remember the good times with her=)
i wish to see you happily dating again! =)

2nd,
i went back my hometown,
went to the bazaar ramadan,
the kuih muih is nice, just its too sweet for me,
i like the agar agar!!

it's without ice lor~

but it's quite nice actually

3rd,
i went out 1st time for so late,
reached home at about 2am..
this is the farewell party with my ex-colleagues =)
supposed to go clubbing, but who the hell will go clubbing on a freaking tuesday night?
haha so we changed plan, we went neway singk
thx aaron for coming! never thought will sit your car before i leave,
i planned to sit nic's car back de, but he didnt come =/ bad ppl

that's nick my hand over his neck=) not nic kay?
actually i'm forcing him come over to take pic =D

thx for the wishes you guys sms/msn/comment me =)

expecially my jem & lut =)
thx for the blog posts, love you muchie

i remember those days we go everyday together in school,
although we know each other not long, but our friendship is still firm.
it will be like now forever..

i'm always eating very slow, thx for waiting me
i'm always hurt by diff guys, thx for concerns & comforts
i'm always having mood swing, thx for being there hearing all my shits
i'm always doing things without thinking, thx for helping me to think that it's right or wrong
thx for everything you done for me,
i really appreciate it much!
dont know who else will call me stobeli already, thinking abt this, i really cannot tahan liao ='(

now i'm leaving, all by myself, to a place i dont even know,
having a very complicated feeling right now,
should be happy & exited, but it's mixed with sorrow & 舍不得 =(
i really will miss you two, miss the life in m'sia.

i'll try not to eat iced food and drink, but i its my favorite, i know i cant tahan the pain d.
i'll meet real good guys there, i wont get hurt again *really hope* , and you all dont need to worry i'll b naive, frown and smile because of him.

things to tell you really aloooooooot, i dont know how to write here =/
we'll be forever friends right? promise=)
muacks, loves

forever friends!
lut♥sto♥jem

p/s. i'll get my laptop as soon as possible, i'll try to online using my ebuddy=)

p/p/s. i didnt elaborate much on the events, im sorry. time's limited =/

p/p/p/s. i want both crab and little prawn xP hahaha just joking!

p/p/p/p/s. i'll try not to shock you when i'm back!

p/p/p/p/p/s. i'll try not to get fat there..yikes!

p/p/p/p/p/p/s. for event pictures, please proceed to my facebook & jem's

p/p/p/p/p/p/p/s. dont cry =( i'll miss you too...

p/p/p/p/p/p/p/p/s. i'll try to update more with the life over there=) stay tuned!

i love you, although it maybe really dont mean anything to you

miss everything about you. do we really end this time?
cherish the memories, would you?

idiotic

2009-08-27T01:27:00.001+08:00

i'm not pretty enough? hot enough? sexy enough?

what is love? i dont understand.
i really dont know.

haha

i sot jor liao =(

怎么把那拥抱变成永远？

2009-08-26T01:04:00.002+08:00

当一切的一切都不重要的时候，
什么才会是我最重要的？

我一直觉得，戒指是一个承诺。
我期待承诺，也害怕承诺。

但好像我们之间不适合有任何承诺。
想想看，几年后，我们还会再见面吗？
我们都还会单身吗？你还记得住我的名字吗？
你还记得住我们的曾经吗？

在对的时间，遇见对的人，是一种幸福
在对的时间，遇见错的人，是一种悲伤
在错的时间，遇见对的人，是一声叹息
在错的时间，遇见错的人，是一种无奈

那么我们，是叹息，还是无奈？
别想太多了，睡吧=）

还想告诉你，昨晚，我又梦见了你。
我们好开心。。。。

一个星期，还有一个星期。。

back to chong hwa? ;) & my 'gathering'

2009-08-23T23:28:00.010+08:00

i cut my hair short!!
like the length in chong hwa!!

gotcha!

haha..this is my new hair-do
*ignore my ~~fat~~ bro behind*

cut my hair coz my family went for family portrait photo taking session!
and my mum pay!!*hahahahahaha*
didn't let her pay since i worked==

my bro wearing formal, cute huh? xD

had a small gathering/farewell at neway times square yesterday =)
thanks for everyone that came..expecially jun fa n ah lai which came back from kampar
*not to mention the CRAB for not comeing back!!*

reached times square abt 11.30am, and 1st time earlier den jem xD
finally i didnt reach late liao =D

went shopping for my bag
*argh! TOPSHOP!!! T^T*

saw 1 at RM60+..although much more cheaper than topshop, but i think price at times square/sg wang shouldnt be like that...hmmm

lut came at abt 1pm =) still counted the earliest...i thought she will reach at abt 2 smth de lor~

us us us!!
the sto-lut-jem

the next one to arrive is jun fa..called ah lai, and ah lai told me he just wake up tim==
actually he is caught is traffic jam..scare me==

hohohoho...i met my 'prince' lor~ haha
leng zai liao xD
keep on taking picture wif him, until all also shake their head liao xD
lut somemore commented on my FB saying its our 'engagement ceromony' too==
LOL....==
*actually i forgot why he became my prince liao lor== i only remember i hate him alot when im senior2, then senior3 everyone is making fun of us 2, i was really mad and angry==*

couple alike?

this is my prince!!!!!!

asked kian seng to buy a cake for jemjem since her bday is on monday
*its 15 min more now xD*

the tiramisu i think

wanted to give her suprise 1 lor, but seems like she didnt~~

jem left at 5 o'clock, forgot to take group pic before she leave lor, so wo had our group pic without her=/
*stupid me=(*

went home at 6 something. had a great day =)

ah lai, me, william, kian seng

lut, me, wei quan, huan yeap

my prince!! & me *again* , jun fa

me, huan yeap

wei quan, huan yeap, ah lai, my prince!! *leng zai onot?hahahahaha*

me, wei quan*he say he very cute in this pic~*

cute ah lai

a kid will forever be a kid!
*wow i like this sentence!!*

jun hui & the kid

lut & wei quan

the '4 leng zai's' ==
kian seng, my prince!!!, jun hui, ah lai

special thanks to those who came: yee sin, jemerlyn, kian seng, ah lai, jun fa, eng chin, huan yeap, william, wei quan, jun hui n pei wern

for more pictures, please proceed to my facebook =)

p/s. had some misunderstanding between me n ahkam,
the BBQ in caryn's house is still ON =)
please show up next week! for detials please call ah kam la~~
i dont know who's going..pls dun ask me again==

p/p/s. i dont know what is it called between US..i know i still love you, but i dont know you baobei is from heart or tam me oni d...=/

p/p/p/s.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY JEMJEM !!!!!

although we only knew each other for 2 year+,
but our friendship will last forever =)

i will always love you!!

虽然我就要飞了，我们就不能再一起街街，出去，
但我们的友谊一定要不变哦~！

加油！我永远支持你！

haven

2009-08-23T13:18:00.002+08:00

how i wish you could be my haven,
but the facts that lay under my eyes say its impossible.

well, i should learn to be strong now.
i was emo, i cried, i was insomnia, i am now sick of it.

how foolish i were,
loving someone that i didnt even have a good impression so deeply =/

i'm sorry i lied,
i'm not single at the moment.
but i'm having a single's life, thats why i claimed im single =)
only the memories with him reminds im attached. i'm really confused.

p/s. yesterday's gathering post up next, stay tuned =)

aliens in the attic

2009-08-20T00:25:00.007+08:00

went for this show today, really nice although i dont like comedies xD
going out with them is also really nice, fun and funny.
lame jokes, stupid acts, haha fun

this is theresa. pretty? hot? =D

us
actually we are wearing the same type v dress x)

sweeeeeeeeeeeeet~ i very very very very very envy!!

jimmy's spec
she looks like AV lady

while i look like OL ==
told you we're lame =D

hmmm...i should wear bikini instead of the black tube top inside
like the last few pics, i looked too formal today..yikes

i just realized im not used to without you beside me when in cinema. so cold, so not movie alike =/
how am i gonna survive without you?=(
i miss you...
im still waiting. again=/
tired....

没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。

没有试过，又怎么知道结果呢？

あなたが望むならすべてあげる ♥

2009-08-16T00:38:00.002+08:00

wish you could be there for me, always =)

no more好想大哭一場=)

2009-08-13T13:11:00.004+08:00

im very very very alright now=)
trust is very important, and i need to learn not to think too much, n simply simply think
thanks for the day ♥

就算再短暫，依然是美好的回憶=)
希望你也一樣好好珍惜~

笨蛋，值得嗎？

期待那麽一丁點的快樂，
但是，我快樂嗎？

付出，沒有收穫。
笨蛋

下雨天了怎麽辦？我好想你

dreaming

2009-08-10T00:57:00.002+08:00

im dreaming again.
forgot the place, forgot what we've did,
but its you with me, thats enough =)

tired

2009-08-06T20:30:00.002+08:00

can i sleep and never wake up?
i hate this world, everything's unfair.

如果你真的是無怨無悔，你就不會抱怨你無怨無悔啦==

caramel with coffee

2009-08-06T01:26:00.005+08:00

when he doesnt even give a damn, why should i care?

why should i wait in the lonely night, just for his appearance, to know what the hell is he doing.
wtf?!

why should i wait for a reply from a deep deep deep hole?
even i know there's only 0.01% of chance.
i dont believe. i dont get why.

why you gave me something, then you took it away again?
why the fucking shit i want to care? cant i dont care?=(

why the dream isnt de javu?
who can tell me why?

hopeless, yes i am

why should i remember every piece of shit of you?
why should i care anything that is a little bit related to you?
yes, you, you, you, you, YOU

i dont wanna wake up, eventhough i know the dream is over.
come pinch me=(

i hate ~~that i love~~ you

when there's too much hope, the more pain is the heartbreaking moment

pc fair

2009-08-05T13:56:00.003+08:00

finally i got mood to write this post =p

2nd time to the pc fair=)
went with jemjem and tzeh sian this time,
sorry, i'm late again *big wet eyes*

took LRT there, and a indian man sat opposite me,
and he was looking at me, smiling..wtf?!
scary lor~ goosebumps all over me..
it made me remember the sg. wang incident,
jem jem u remember onot? =/

damn kns lor that time, the man was pakistan(?)
and when we were shopping for shoes, he smiled at me through the mirror(!)
then we walked away, quickly,
but he followed us..!!
then we ran for life xD
cant forget=/ yikes

pc fair was packed and crowded. friday only lea, they dont need work or study de mea?
the models there are..chio =D no wonder boys like to go there xP haha

and the best part of klcc convention centre is, their toilet have big ass mirror!
we cant resist ourselves there xD xD

she say she is very not used to me wearing converse..haha

i cant stop taking pics =D
miss jemjem is my lover =)
my RM25 dress =)

guess who we saw?
miss lut lut!
today last day exam liao la, den can go out liao^^
happy happy, we 3 long time no gather liaooo~~

they went home at abt 5pm, left me alone=(
i really dont know how to shop in klcc, i dont fancy branded ones..
so i went starbucks, ordered iced vanilla-latte,
but the taste is weird...==
sat down in a corner, then i only know there dont have wifi!!
i dont know is my pb or they really dont have..
luckily i bought magazine there =D
and i camwhored there...~
dun OMG pls=)

then abt 6.30pm, i went home.
i was smart enough to buy my ticket back when i arrive,
if not i will be squizing in the queue for hours=/

i think there are quite some CH students live PJ now,
saw some white short's at the taxi stand there, not sure if they are CH students..

freaking jam at the LRT station!
jammed abt 30mins for only abt 1km distance(maybe less)

had dinner at ming tien with the family=)

p/s. gathering date set on 22nd august(sat) temporary,
please inform me if the date isnt possible for you =)

p/p/s. dont know why quite some ppl is persuading me to cut my hair short=/
comments please xD

p/p/p/s. argh my BT speed is sooooooooo slow =(

沒有什麽不能被改變，就像沒有什麽值得被改變

2009-08-05T13:36:00.003+08:00

slept around 12am, and woke up around 12pm today xD
finally insomnia left me =)
12am seems like the earliest time i went to bed these days. haha
i remember those days when i tuck myself into bed by around 2am, but i just could not fall asleep till 4am=/ and i dont know what else i can do. everyone's asleep, and the one i wish he will be my side wasnt here, how ironic, how pathetic?

聼我說

2009-08-03T22:03:00.004+08:00

我離開了，你一定很快就會忘了我=（
現在的一切，都只會是曇花一現。。

我不要承諾，我不要。。
我不要說我們的未來，太虛假，太遙不可及。
我只要現在的快樂，開心就好~

但是。。。。
我會很想念你的=/

在節目聽到的，
男人爲了得到性所以愛，女人卻是爲了得到愛所以性。

bon odori'09

2009-08-01T17:36:00.006+08:00

finally i got chance to go already xD
this supposed to be 6s4's gatherhing, but alot of them couldnt make it,
in the end, oni me and jem went with her guitar society=/

the air supply condition really...yucks
my make up remover wet-tissue became grey colour! omg

i thought the food there will be damn expensive, but its still ok lar.
but the food there actually could be found in jusco/shojikiya.
i still like sushi and unagi xD

look!

quite big and thick! but taste so-so only

my favourite sushi xD

candid shot =D
she says this shot looks like my bro==

her food. dont know what is this called, but it taste like potato, nice also x)

i dont know what is this pancake-like stuff, jem say it doesnt taste nice=/

the sausage she bought, she say it looks like *ahem*
didn't finish it too=/ she isnt feeling well

and i bought beer==
and jem doesn't like the taste~
i couldn't finish it coz my tummy wasnt feeling well that day.

*gastric problem again, and feel like alot air inside*her expression can explain the beer's taste..haha

actually jem was ill that day, thanks for teman-ing me=)
i love you =D

hmm, it is quite boring lar,
hot and packed, and alot lala=/
packed is the main reason, i dont like places with alot ppl 1..

and i did not take any pics with those "japanese" there. because:-
i) the 1st group of small girl i asked to take pic with damn LC and refused me
ii) there are alot girls dressed up like japanese, but they arent japanese actually, and some are weird
iii) im lazy xD

and i kacau jem take this pic xD
she wanna show her sis the puff

and finally, group pics=)
'thou i dont really know them

p/s. thanks for booking a space for us, appreciate much

p/p/s. pc-fair post coming up next!
stay tuned~

p/p/p/s. out for dinner and visit family friend's new house,
a boring night again, i guess =/

p/p/p/p/s. im not interested in losers, you are f*cking lame.

2009-07-29T16:30:00.002+08:00

有那個女孩不憧憬愛情？
但現實世界中，愛情並不是想象中的完美。

我還是個女孩，他口中的小孩子=)
我還是憧憬愛情。雖然跌跌撞撞，但有時候，還是值得的。

有時候，有些東西在身邊的時候，會顯得理所當然，
而失去的時候，才懂得什麽是珍貴的。
請珍惜你所擁有的一切=)

我希望你，是我的獨家記憶，不管別人說得多麽難聽=)

2009-07-28T20:40:00.006+08:00

原來還是有一些事我是不敢做的。
我還是很乖=)

我太乖- 江語晨

有些場景，我依然看得到你的影子。
有些時候，我還是很會幻想，發呆。
但至少這樣我是開心的=)

獨家記憶-陳小春

今天跑去這裡==
=D
補回上次沒有拍到照
不過這次換了人而已~

where are you? i miss you ='(

♥ sweet~

2009-07-26T19:43:00.003+08:00

thx my jem jem for the header =)
i'm loving it ^^

being MIA yesterday..
haha,
actually went to lumut..

but, it rained=/
and i didnt even went to the beach =(
sad sad sad

p/s. hap chou makes you look childish. and it also makes me damn happy.
i know im bad. yeah, damn bad.
revenge=)

p/p/s. its more like a dream to reality=) and i still feel like im in a dream.
lolz, wake up!

hmm, happy and emo in the same time. i'm weird.
and i still cant forget what happened...♥

dont ask! ;)

=)

2009-07-24T00:43:00.003+08:00

pls dun hap cou xD
haha
LOL

obsessed stupid movie==

1st time having haagen dazs=)
1st time luk luk...

aiks....have to work 2mr n sat, no salary 1 =( =(

i'll be there

2009-07-20T22:38:00.003+08:00

2009 臺灣高等教育展 & 文華之夜

地點：帝苑酒店宴會展覽廳 Mahkota Foyer, Hotel Istana
時間：2009年7月24日至25日（星期五、六）

have to help there this weekend.
so anyone going come find me lur=)

btw, my 012 number is not in use now.
coz my phone spoil liao..
keypad not fuctioning.
call/msg my 016=D

------------------------------

why nothing is perfect? why bad things only happen to me?
why i am ugly why i am fat why i am so annoying why i make no ppl like me?
why the things i want never come to me
why i am a failure
why why why
who tell me why

=(

i hate myself now, too=(

schadenfreude

2009-07-18T02:26:00.003+08:00

sometimes, i feel that i've changed quite alot recently.
i was tame and i dont say anything bad abt ppl,
but dont know why the words coming out from my mouth are getting sour and it hurts people.

mayb i've transformed and grew up to live in this dark world by learning the scars i've gotten through these days?

wounds will heal, but scars stay forever.

i dont dare to reminiscence those memories we've gotten through.
it hurts. every steps we've gotten through, every happy moments, i dont want to remember.

i hate you. because i loved you.
i hate you. because you gave me those memories.
誰說愛情不能做比較？

sometime im happy, not because something good happened.
sometimes, schadenfreude became my hobby.
told you i've changed alot

im not that kind like last time.
i wont let go, for someone who deserves it more anymore.
i said i want it, i will go for it. no matter what is the pay, what will happen.
cruel

hope i can return to the happy little girl like before.
i smile, i laugh because i'm really happy.
but not like now, a wicked smile, because i smell something bad happening.

someone pull me outta here.
i want to be that pure little girl.
i want to be that smiley shyuan.

maybe not

突然好想你 ='C

2009-07-16T01:35:00.004+08:00

做的夢太甜，兩次了。
而
我們不可能的。

我想
卻
有點怕
再夢到他。

遺憾是會呼吸的痛
能重來那就好了

很喜歡星星，
覺得，那是一種希望，
也算是一種。。。承諾？

gone with the wind, just let it flow, let it take me where it wants to go

2009-07-13T20:53:00.003+08:00

i think i need desserts badly =(

i want haagen dazs, i want to go chocolate for the chocolate fondue, i want tiramisu, i want cheese cake, i want starbucks, i want every sweet thing!
cant help it when emo-ness strikes me..and i dont know why! emo without a reason, and i started emo since the second i'm awake today. went mcD for breakfast with brother and i cant stop scolding/nagging him. what the hell happened?!
and i dont even have the mood to msn n facebook.

haiz~
and the person which could help never show up=/
'thou i've got feeling something really gladful is happening. karma, do you believe?

coz i'll never be with you~

2009-07-12T22:07:00.008+08:00

went diamond seeking with mum and her friends yeserday, walked into every jewelery shop in mid valley and gardens, but they still couldnt make up their mind.
oh okay, the point isnt this. i learnt quite alot knowledge about diamonds already =) although it is still not that attracting to me. but i still want diamond ring if anyone wanna propose to me xD 1 carat or more!! blekkk

looks like i like this pose recently..haha =D

but sometimes i still prefer with makeup,
how do you think?

hair long liao =)

i dont like roxy la,
but still have to wear it since i bought it right?
somemore so exp....aiks

went tropicana mall today, n watched transformers again! but i still like it =) nice! my mum cant get why i like this kind movie, she thought i only watch love/romantic movies..haha
and, i can accept my look without make up already=) went there without makeup today..and somemore i tied ponytail, i cannot tahan the hair already =/ haha.. i tried those japanese most liked bun (those damn high 1) and i feel its really cute! haha...and i can tie my hait up thr already =) happy happy~ faster long la..i want to curl it!!

w/o makeup. still can see la hor?

the bun i said =D
nice?

he said im大肚婆,
wonder he will say that when he saw i wore this dress?

cute mou cute mou? =p

and, i saw both my ex on sat n sun....
kinda surprised he were still working thr,
and nic didnt saw me =(

and my stomach isnt feeling right these days,
got gastric yesterday, and now im feeling it got alot air inside, and when i burp, still alot =/
and headache..aiks
hope my full body checkup will be alright

2 mths to go, and i'll be leaving msia
happy or sad?

haha, me with specs (not mine 'thou)

and i kinda like this pic...=/
kx say it looks like malay~

sometimes, i really feel quite sick to be single. erm, it doesnt mean i dont like to be single, and doesnt mean single is not good. just, sometime, i still feel some loneliness inside me although my friends cares me alot. but then, sometimes i need someone who can be beside me 24/7, care me, hear all my lame jokes, hear what i say, what i feel, share my stories. aiks, i dont think i should find a bf in msia now, i dont like long distance relationship, and i also dont believe in LDR. i dont trust boys, myself neither. and i'm afraid i will put too much efford into it within this 2 months, and it'll make me cry everynight there? =( but sometimes now, i feel wanna someone to hug me, someone to hold my hands.

i know im really vain (hiao) sometimes. haha, i cant tahan myself also. but, hmm..i dont know how to say. its me, my style. so dont blame me=/

i did this quiz on FB,
and the outcome is 90% fox-y. haha
and i think the ans i gave her is really......speechless...
dont know why my brain giv me this response after i saw her question. OMG
*click to enlarge*

p/s.
bon odori next week! who is going? =D

p/p/s.
and, i fat liao..pictures also can c, damn obvious ler,
but my weight is dropping.
wtf is this? this isnt a good phenomena...aiksss

p/p/p/s.
adui, uploading pics reli uses alot time...=/
mayb coz i started to use camera to camwhore but not my 810 already..
have to be used to, coz im not bringing my 810 to taiwan. and i like that camera quite alot.
the color is nice, compare to the E51..the colour reli tak boleh 1 lor..

可憐的我

2009-07-09T12:07:00.001+08:00

上網沒有東西上
電視沒有東西看
冰箱沒有東西吃
沒有人得空陪我出去

我很無聊~~~~~~~！！
有什麽做？=(

在你懷裡的微笑

2009-07-07T00:08:00.001+08:00

可以嗎讓我和你對調
希望換成你愛我愛得快要瘋掉

知道嗎你對我多重要
只是現在的我們並不適合擁抱

愛隨著風飄蕩飄過了你嘴角飄到天涯海角
把我困在這城堡哪裡也逃不了

我不要別人溫柔的懷抱聽不見你的心跳
連我熟悉的味道再也聞不到
我只要你喊我一次就好從親暱你的暗號
多想再次親耳聽到

我不要別人溫柔的懷抱讓我暫時的依靠
那是短暫止痛藥很快會失效
你只要再哄我一次就好讓我可以很驕傲
記住我擁有過的好
記住在你懷裡微笑

no, i dont belong to anyone

2009-07-06T00:39:00.004+08:00

true im dating different guys.
but i dont belong to anyone.
at least, now i dont=)

i wanna have fun before i leave.
i want a photobook full of happy memories.
'though mayb it will cost a bomb,
but i really wish i could have 1.

i regret, but what else i can do?
its already too late.

回憶，夢境。
多麽的不真實，但卻又那麽的真實。
到底怎樣我們的關係才不會改變？
但我卻希望有那麽一點的改變。
但可能，一切都太遲了。
錯過的，我親手放棄的，
不會再回來。

p/s. 儅有人不喜歡你的態度，也許真的是你的問題。好好想想，反省一下，改變一下。

cause i can breath again, dream again

2009-07-03T18:23:00.005+08:00

had 2 portion of ice cream in a meal =)
haha
not today, but on wed
1st was the green tea ice cream from a japanese supermarket(i guess its called something like this)
then viann wasnt in a good mood so we headed to baskin robbin, and i ordered the waffle thingy.
not as good as i expected, not going for it anymore =/ she ordered a 3 scoop one, but the price is almost the same.
i should go for haagen dazs lar..havent try it before

then on thurs, i went to catch transformers! =)
like, finally!!
megan fox is really hot! =)
but i think i like terminator more, although without him beside me =D haha
and i almost wore couple shirt with him. actually wanted to wear red polo tee but i changed my mind last second.

omg

2009-06-29T00:42:00.003+08:00

damn, i'm afraid i will regret taking engineering. engineering really isnt my 1st choice.
i wanted interior design, architecture, nutrition but i dont know why i took this engineering course at the end.

having serious mood swing these days.
i dont have a reason to be happy,
i dont have a reason to be moody neither.

online-ing every night is very sien.
dont know what to do,
no people online,
dont have the initiative to chat.
and i will start to blog,
typing lame shits,
then either post it up or ctrl+A+delete.

i wanna go to the beach. or a vacation also okay.
do anything that could really cheer me up.

billie jean's not my lover, i have no lover

2009-06-28T01:52:00.002+08:00

i'm not a big fans of him,
and i dont/cant believe he's dead!

somehow,
i do believe he's going to give the world a big big surprise on his concert..
jem agrees too=)

im doing his billie jean dance in my shop today=D
haha
they beh tahan, no eye c..==
and the shopkeeper beside saw my stupid move..lol
haha
i just like to do stupid things lar,
it makes me happy

they made me so vain!==
they keep making fun of me with that assistant manager..=D
wanted me to get his number somemore..
and one of them somemore 'scold' me for dunwan 主动...omg

hmm...2 mths left..
farewell parties..=(
sad sad sad

so, what can i deny?

2009-06-27T00:25:00.003+08:00

射手座

射手女生可能永远也不会知道自己想要的是什么，但是她一直都很清楚，她不想要的是什么。
她总喜欢做幕后的看客，冷冷地，静静地看着一切，在她眼里，一切都在她的意料之中，她并不觉得有什么是新奇的，如果她表现得新奇，那是因为她觉得应该这样做。她像一个看戏的人，永远置身事外。

你不要责怪她冷漠，这是她保护自己的唯一方式。她像一只刺猬，随时竖起自己身上的刺，但她的刺不会伤人，她只是用来武装自己。

她不敢要太多的爱，她怕享受完爱之后，剩下的只是加倍的痛。所以当别人对她过度宠爱时，她不但不会欣喜，反而会惊惧地逃走，她不知道怎样回报别人对她的爱，如果你得到她的喜爱，那是因为她已经知道如何面对，如何回报了。她追求那种君子之交淡如水的境界。

她懂得爱人，但她不习惯爱人，她知道爱往往伴随着恨，而恨，是太沉重的伤痛，也是太容易让人疲倦的感情。她不想痛，也就懒得去恨，于是，为了防范恨与痛的到来，她只好选择不爱，即使爱，也是淡淡的，冷冷的。别怪她，她是真的不知道如何专注。

她有时也很虚伪。不要指责她，她之所以选择虚伪，那是你勉强她做她不愿做但又拒绝不了的事，她不习惯承诺，也不懂得拒绝，她最擅长的是难为自己。她不想你难过，只好令自己难过。
她总是固执地认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，她将自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太脆弱。她老是担心自己的行为会让别人受到伤害。她不知道，受伤的其实是自己。只是她不知道如何表现出来，她迷糊得像别人所认为的那样，将自己当成一个百毒不侵的人。

别以为她很洒脱，很多时候，她其实是放不下的-——她比任何人都要敏感，都要细腻，但她不会让你知道，她明白，即使你知道了，也是无济于事。她的心是把握不住的风，她渴望像风一样单纯而自由。

她不是不想平静，她只是找不到平静的理由，她一生都无法明确自己在人世要扮演的角色，她只有不停地寻求，寻求自己最终的目的。如果她找到了，她会毫不犹豫地停下来，从此放弃心灵的漂泊。很遗憾，她永远也不会满足，她的追求永不停止。她的心再累，无法逼迫自己放弃梦想，梦想是她唯一的支撑点。

千万别让她失望。因为她学不会原谅，她非常渴求完美，虽然她知道世间没有绝对的完美，但，她有绝对追求完美的执着。你若令她失望，她会不可挽回地离开，即使她的心在滴血，即使痛楚重得要压垮她的生命，她也绝不回头。那个时候，你在她脸上所看到的，是让人寒心的决绝。即使她还在你的身边，她的心也早就离你十万八千里，你看不到她的恨，但是你会感受到比恨还让人痛苦的冷淡。她的离开是心灵的离开。

她可以在前半分钟对你好得让你受宠若惊，也可以在后半钟冷漠得让你不可接受。不要问她为什么这样善变，她也不知道。当你看到她在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，千万不要迷惑，不管她看起来是多么的疯狂，她内心其实是冷静的，她比你们任何一个旁观者更知道如何处理快乐与悲伤，她只是习惯-——也可以说是喜欢将一切都变得疯狂。因为她觉得这是义务，也是权利，她是制造气氛的能手，她的一句俏皮话会让一切轻快起来，但她的一声叹息又会将一切都弄得很沉重。她总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与忧郁.

她并不如你们看到的那么快乐，同样，也不如你们看到的那么忧伤，只是，她忧郁时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当她快乐时，忧郁又不肯轻易放过她。

在她的世界里，盛着的不是快乐的源泉，而是她不愿在人前滴下的泪水。你看到的她，笑起来像一个孩子，你有时会认为她天真得像是童话里走出来的天使。但是，你若有心，你会看到她沉静时脸上挥之不去的忧伤，还有她的眼底，竟那么凝重地积压着一种看破红尘的味道。她只有在午夜无人的时候，才会完全地释放自己。她不会在众目睽睽之下表露她的无助，她的彷徨，她的沧桑。
在她心里的，是永远流不尽的泪。你所看到的坚强，只是她在竭力掩饰的脆弱。

sweet sweet dream =)

2009-06-25T12:53:00.002+08:00

never ever thought he will be in my dream,
it's so sweet,
but i know it wouldn't happen,
never ever happen.

hmm..
are you missing me?
then why you came into my dreams?=)

就让我彻底的伤，再彻底的醒过来

2009-06-20T02:01:00.004+08:00

眼泪是你给的礼物，地址是不怎么幸福~

佯装开心，哈哈
我好傻
你也看不出来~

要怎么才可以让我彻底的醒过来？
真的要彻底的伤过吗？

那。。。
那个彻底的伤，是多么伤？

你说过的，你怎么都做不到？

You left me drowning in the tears of memory

2009-06-17T00:55:00.010+08:00

最近最常听到的话是

你这样吃，不肥都假啦！

开心，吃。
不开心，吃。

要怎么办？怎么控制？

-------------------------------------------

7/18 bon odori谁要去？~~~~~~
最好全部6s4的都有去。。。哈哈
还有死螃蟹，最好给我从kampar死回来。。
我才不理你7/11生日回来过=D

9/3 我就要飞了咯。。
好快~
4年，4年。。。
说长不长，说短不短。
之前很期待的，现在却开始舍不得朋友。。
不能和薏宁，雨欣去逛街，
跟朋友看电影，吃饭，吹水。
不知道去到那里会不会遇到一样对我那么好的朋友。
不知道那里的人是怎样的，
不知道我会不会变坏，
不知道我会不会变成我最讨厌的物质主义。

--------------------------

13/6，少了一个人的约会

刘雨欣！下次你最好给我出来~
我要走了啦=（

还没出门，就收到薏宁的简讯
“我穿到要去喝喜酒酱”
哈哈

没办法，每次都会被我逼穿GENG一点的=D
她妹妹还穿她的连身裙。。真配合。。哈哈
她还是一样，多带了平底鞋。哈哈
怎知道，我竟然也会脚酸。难得。
太久没穿了。。。

午餐是subway,
subway of the day 是什么crab的==
我说我不想吃‘螃蟹’，薏宁说她一定会写出来！
blek 我自己写了=p

一个要拍，一个不给拍！哈哈

薏宁的。她说她看到面包就饱了。
雨欣~好吃吗？

贪玩跑去买的。难得做lala mui，
进埋i-socks。里面的衣服不错！哈哈
真的啦，正常人也可以穿得啦~

全身照不自然==
自拍还比较好，哈哈

超可爱的面包

午餐过后的甜点，我的冰淇淋，薏宁的starbucks。她说她比较喜欢雨欣gasoline喝的。
有巧克力渣。。

我喜欢绿茶冰淇淋，不要问我为什么，喜欢就是喜欢。不明白为什么那么多人不喜欢==

谁叫她一直装可怜拍照，我也来一张=D

换平底鞋lc了~催我们穿高跟鞋的了==

我的战利品。。
黑色马甲窄裙，小碎花连身裙，水手风洋装，和一件不知道怎么形容的上衣。
rm25一件。。在1u很难找到的价钱。

p/s. 雨欣~我好想你。。！真的好想你

p/p/s.脚受伤的人，好好照顾你的脚啦。
放心，我不会跟别人讲你脚太多勾到脚踏车跌倒。。=p

trying hard to leave you, but u made me stay.
then you kept me away again=/

shit

2009-06-11T02:30:00.001+08:00

argh

i missed kaleidoscope.
i tot it was end of june, and now i couldnt find a time to go

=/

my dear mani=)

2009-06-09T01:07:00.006+08:00

this is mani. she's from taiwan=)
i'm gonna find her when i'm going taiwan!
cant wait for it..hehe
she's fun. nice n pretty too..

too bad she came for a not long vaction only=(
didn't play enough with her..

at sunway=D
lol, we damn bad
but jeff say he didnt saw any sign of our pic =(

kai xuan say tis leng=)

she say i damn suitable for tongue piercing =D
haha
but so not my style. i dont like=/

fat fat fat fat fat!!

leaving m'sia soon. 有什么会令到我不舍呢？

事实太过残酷，令人心碎。
谎言却太过美丽，无法让人相信。

有时候伤害并不是一朝一夕造成的，
而是慢慢累积的。

而造成的伤害，不是说能磨灭就磨灭。
就算好了，还是会有个疤。

保密文章

蓝又时秘密

一首我一直在播放的歌。
mani也喜欢哦~
好巧=）

你就直接回頭吧她在等著你
不要怕我會哭泣早就在心底
想想你說過的話其實我們不虛假
那就好吧其實你對我不差

別對我食之無味棄之可惜
雖然你還有感覺但不是愛情
想想你說過的話其實我們不虛假
那就好了吧這些夠了呀

我們的愛情是秘密不能成立
就算我愛你也不能夠說明
她在你身邊逗你開心我只不過讓你歇斯底里

你就讓我跟著你一起秘密
我們的事情說好不提起
讓我們都能夠清晰
你和她是不變的定律

別對我食之無味棄之可惜
雖然你還有感覺但不是愛情
想想你說過的話其實我們不虛假
那就好了吧這些夠了呀

我們的愛情是秘密不能成立
就算我愛你也不能夠說明
她在你身邊逗你開心我只不過讓你歇斯底里

你就讓我跟著你一起秘密
我們的事情說好不提起
讓我們都能夠清晰
你和她是不變的定律

听啊，听啊。。
叫你去听。听到没？

take me away

2009-06-06T02:49:00.001+08:00

i had enough.

damn

im tired

how can i rest?

can i dont wake up?
so i dont need think all of these things?

take me away.
i wanna leave

broken heart, its tearing. when will it mend?

2009-06-04T18:40:00.002+08:00

那到底要我怎样你才会快乐？

那到底要我怎样你才会快乐？

那到底要我怎样你才会快乐？

那到底要我怎样你才会快乐？

那到底要我怎样你才会快乐？

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

argh!!

stressful

2009-06-03T20:48:00.003+08:00

many things happened.
dont wanna say it out here, but i have to say i'm not happy with it.
cant blame anyone, coz i dont know who to blame. myself? mayb.

have to sound out for myself.
'though i've got relationship problems,
i'm single. yet not prepared for any relationship.
i neither got bluff nor got hurt.
if i did, i'm willing to get.
dont wanna anyone kepoh or help.

i feel like it's someone is doing bad behind me.
you know who you are. *siapa makan cili, dia'tu kan rasa pedas*
coz i know my friends well.

its not like i push the fault away from me.
just i'm damn pure innocent.
or maybe i'm just not that trustable.
whatever. mayb i'm just not suitable for these games.

i just want things back the way they were.
~i miss you, 4tune

听到我心碎的声音吗？

2009-06-01T00:52:00.002+08:00

gonna buy myself a pair of converse and promise myself not to wear high-heels again.
mayb once in a while.

dont know why i get down easily these days. could laugh in this second, but really down on d next. why??

am i giving too much?
i'm taking back my love..

saying this sentence everytime, but when can i really give it up?
damn.

gonna upload mani's pic.
she's nice=)

女人哭了，是因为她真的放弃了

2009-05-28T00:17:00.004+08:00

最近，睡得不是很好。不知道为什么，
好像在等待什么，
一通电话？一个信息？
很奇怪的预感，但总是落空。

失眠的夜，
明明很累，却翻来覆去，睡不着。
3点多才睡着，5点就不知道为什么吓醒了。
7点多，再被吓醒一次。
我很累。怎么办？

我到底是在等什么？
什么那么值得我去等？

也许你只把它当游戏，我却爱得太用力。

我是坏人

2009-05-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

有时候，我觉得
让爱我的人生气，失望，难过
很让我开心

因为

这样我才感觉得到他们爱着我。

犯贱

************

怎么说？
我知道我很缺乏安全感。。。
只要是属于我的东西
离我远一点
我都会害怕失去

怎么不失去你？

*************

薏宁说的
不知道是不是习惯了
习惯了吗？

*************

nic wear purple today,
lut dun yer ah....=D

its so funny that he broke your heart and you still can love him with all the little peices

hmm

2009-05-21T23:57:00.005+08:00

i wanna change my blog colour again.

purple this time

dark dark purple that i love aloooooot=)

blog header....how to find?!!

malasnya

2009-05-19T01:49:00.002+08:00

i never ever know i got these much tears.
i never ever saw myself cried like this.

just a backup
or now
not even a backup?

hmm

how can i stop crying?

wtf

2009-05-19T01:18:00.002+08:00

那个星座让你痛不欲生？

金牛座

無論你去哪裡、做什麼、去多久，甚至為引起他注意而胡鬧，金牛的他也顯得不在乎，或許這給了你足夠的自由，但卻讓你覺得自己像個小丑。而一旦當你觸犯了他的底線，他便不再回頭。這樣有情似無情的他，最是讓你受盡委屈，痛在心口難開。

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

==

grr

2009-05-17T02:24:00.002+08:00

i think it will be the 2nd time i cry myself till i sleep.
or maybe i cant sleep..

tears dropping down. not from my eyes, from my heart
how could you be so cruel.

my hearts bleeding
you dont know
you dont care

whatever you like

i dont wanna care anymore
i dont wanna touch these things anymore
i dont wanna any love

you can throw rabbit away
you can dont buy me breakfast
i can dont wake you up
i can dont kacau u anymore

im tired already

you win everything
i lost everything

me her and you

i'll cry myself till i sleep

2009-05-17T02:05:00.004+08:00

damn emo these days
i dont know why

i really dont know

sorry

薏宁
不要羡慕
我的都是烂桃花
我宁愿不要